He couldn’t grasp what it was from him that she didn’t see… Nights where only stars and galaxies gave comfort to him. He was lost. She is his greatest destiny, yet she cannot see what is in front of her. She doesn’t see with her eyes. She doesn’t know that he exists; that he is the same person she fell so in love with has only evolved into a better soul for her. Made for her.
When she looks at him, there’s hollow stare that is cries emptiness and coddled with solitude. Her love for him left long ago, before it ended between him. He left a year after their engagement of relations to each other ended, yet the passion still arose. All hours of the night, and into the day. It was like nothing had changed between them. Emotionally, she claimed she was unavailable. He accepted this claim, knowing she was lying. Knowing she was available, just not for him.
"Okay", he convinced himself again that this couldn’t be true.
"Perhaps, she’s just scared that this could be something real, something that could work in the long-run. Something worth exchanging vows of eternity… from this life to the …. ne…"
He stopped, realizing how foolish that sounds… again.
Standing by. There. Around her for whenever she’d call to him in the night. He’d be there showing he still cared. He wasn’t in love with her. He loved her, had love for her. There’s a difference, at least.. that is what he told himself.
There was natural high to their essence - that everyone who gazed upon them could feel. Everyone knew who they were together, but her… After the chapter of “together”, ended. Her closest of friends and people who would no longer see them out together; would questioned what happened?
Where did he go?
Are you still friends?
How could you be so foolish to let someone like THAT go?
Do you really think you’ll ever find someone like him again?
I’d never let him go, if I found him!!!
She always gave a bullshit answer on how, they both need to “grow” and ramble on about that until the person listening only let her ramble knowing that it’d make herself feel better, if she convinced herself.
She messaged him, saying they needed to “talk”. His stomach sank to his ankles, all hunger left his eyes. He knew. She called.
"She called…" He murmured. Trying to forget how she broke his heart for the third time.
She called, exclaiming how she needed to try this new thing in her life, that required her putting all her time into it. Ripping what left of her he had and relinquishing it back into her vessel. He granted her this wish, because he loved her more than he loved himself, at this time. He let her go at the lowest point of his life. He was recovering from the hospital and soon as he was abled to walk(literally) - she called. Dismantled. He knew all too well how it felt for her to walk all over him.
Wiping the dirt of him off her heels and out of their life like he was the exhale to her inhale. Just like that, in a breathe - finished.
A month later, his birthday arrived. She called(yearned) to him, he agreed. They saw each other, made passionate love. The thought of it (to this very day) brings chills to the narrow of his spine. He forgave her just like that. Months passed…to her, he was a candle. Something to light when needed and blow out when darkness bellowed. He never contacted her because he didn’t want to disturb her from doing what she needed to do. He wanted all her dreams to come true. Figuring out what the hell his dreams are and if he had any at all. She always had plans and dreams and he always wanted that for her. Together or not. Holidays passed… nothing. Not together at least. She still found time to celebrate, because to her, he was only a candle. Between all this hiatus of communication, love was made. More in sync than ever and this energy transformed edges of space. Transcending time.
Life together apart was better than ever. One, as two.
He grew to love her “idea” more than she. He noticed. She’s still distant yet consistent as day and night - in her own way. She was fickle, always guessing never sure. He grew to accept this, but his world was concrete. Her world wouldn’t know a paved side walk if the gods delivered it themselves. Compromise.. it’s worth it - he said. A deep sigh escaped from his lungs. His heart and head hadn’t been on the same page in years. Two heart beats rotating in opposite directions. Sickness. Chasing the thrill. The thought of no one knowing + the passion, set him on clouds smoking with Ala and Abassi.